


What Would They Do Without Us?

by pulangaraw



Series: The Girls Are Awesome [1]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-05-22
Updated: 2012-05-22
Packaged: 2017-11-05 19:57:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,488
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/410413
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pulangaraw/pseuds/pulangaraw
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Darcy and Betty are awesome and save the day.  (Rating is for swears only!)</p>
            </blockquote>





	What Would They Do Without Us?

**Author's Note:**

> I'm pretty sure this is bordering on crack, but I feel like going _green_ for no apparent reason, so have some awesome girls to make the world better!  
>  Thanks a lot to Torra for supplying some dialogue and cheerleading this in its initial stages, and thanks to Caers for comma planting and general typo-spotting. Any remaining mistakes are mine, feel free to beat me over the head with them.

The call-out is one of the more usual variety. _Super Villain Intent On Ruling The World Is Wreaking Havoc In East Manhattan With A Freeze Ray._ Nothing to write home about. The Avengers suit up and Jane, Betty and Darcy make themselves comfortable on the sofa and tune into the news station. Betty gets the crackers and Jane mixes the margaritas. They have a routine. Pepper is off in L.A. at the moment, but they’re joined by a grumbling Clint who limps into the room after losing an impressive shouting match with Steve.

Jane smiles at him sympathetically, but Darcy just grins at him.

“Welcome to the other side of the Avengers Initiative. Sit down make yourself comfortable, have a cookie.”

“You’re an ass,” Clint hisses and grabs one of the margaritas.

Betty pats his knee. “I’m sure they’ll be fine without you this once.”

“Fucking Tony and his fucking robots. Why’d Dummy have to drop that damn suitcase armour on my toe?” Clint mutters into his drink.

“From what I hear, you were sneaking around in Tony’s workshop and it’s your own fault,” Darcy says without pity.

“I wasn’t sneaking. I was simply trying to see if he’d finished the new arrows he promised me.”

“And you couldn’t have just asked-,”

“Shush, they’re on.” Jane waves a hand at the screen, where the Avengers have just appeared at the scene.

They all fall silent and watch the events unfold.

“Ten bucks says Tony will knock the guy out with a repulsor blast,” Darcy says after a while.

“My money’s on the Hulk smashing him into a wall,” Betty counters.

Jane shakes her head. “Thor hits him with the hammer.” She always says that. Maybe one day, she’ll actually win the pot.

They all turn and look at Clint expectantly. “Uhm... Natasha, with a kick to the head?”

“You’re on,” Darcy says and they all turn their attention back to the screen.

It's all fine and dandy, no one’s gotten seriously hurt and the Hulk knocks Thor into the Villain Of The Week, thus knocking him unconscious, and everyone back home loses the bet. It’s basically just the clean-up by this point - Jane is toasting Betty, Darcy punches a fist into the air and Clint has stopped grumbling - when the army suddenly shows up, led by a guy with a truly ridiculous moustache. Betty groans, Clint mutters “What the fuck?” and the Hulk sees the guy and goes _green_.

It’s amazing how easy it is to see the difference between the Hulk being a part of the Avengers and the Hulk losing it completely. It’s fucking terrifying. Steve, Thor and Natasha are after him in a heartbeat, trying to minimise the damage and get him back under control.

The guy in uniform - and by now everyone’s identified him as General Ross - is barking out orders and his people are pointing scary looking guns at the Hulk. Iron Man zooms towards them and lands with a clunk and pretty awesome menacing body language.

Darcy is on her feet shouting, “You fucking asshole, what the fuck do you think you’re doing?”

Then she stops, turns around and winces. “Sorry, Betty...”

But Betty just shakes her head and says, “No, you’re right. Damn him.”

“If only there was something we could do!” Jane says, wringing her hands and looking around as if the answer somehow lies on the living room floor.

“I think I could calm him down, if I were there, but...” Betty starts, then trails off, looking sad.

“Right, that’s it,” Darcy says. “We’re off.”

She grabs Betty by the hand and tugs her off the sofa. “If we take one of Tony’s bikes we can be there within twenty minutes, maybe fifteen if we’re lucky.”

“You’re not going anywhere, Darcy,” Clint chimes in and he looks determined. “Betty, do you really think you could calm him down?”

She nods. “I’m sure, I’ve done it before.”

“Okay then.” Clint moves to get up.

"Dude, man up and sit down!" Dary snaps at him.

"What?” Clint snipes back.

“You’re injured. I can drive a motorbike just as well as you. And I have a taser. Stop playing superhero.”

Clint gestures to his cast. “It's nothing! It's basically a hang-nail! I'm fine--FUCK!" He bends forward protectively. "What the _fuck_ , woman?"

"If you were fine, you'd have avoided that easily. Big baby." Darcy is looking angrily at him, not the least bit sorry to have caused him extra pain.

Jane shakes her head. "Now it's a twisted knee _and_ a broken toe."

“I hate you,” Clint hisses, glaring daggers at Darcy.

She just smirks at him. “Put some ice on it.” Her expression softens when she says, “Look, don’t worry, we’ll be fine. I promise we’ll stay away from anything too dangerous.”

Clint doesn’t look convinced, but Darcy has Betty by the hand again and they’re headed off towards the basement garage where Tony keeps his bikes. Darcy picks the one that’s just small enough for her to handle and still fast - as if there is anything in Tony’s possession that isn’t either superfast or supertechnological - and Betty gets a couple helmets and they’re off.

They make it to the scene in under fifteen minutes because surprisingly, New York has learned its lesson for once and is staying off the streets when supervillains and Avengers are about. Darcy ignores the shouts from the army and S.H.I.E.L.D. perimeter sentries and speeds past all of them towards where the Hulk is currently ripping apart a fountain. Steve, Thor and Natasha are doing a good job of keeping him from destroying anything too major, but it’s obvious that they are having no success whatsoever in calming him down. Iron Man is nowhere to be seen.

Darcy screeches to a stop right in front of the Hulk and Betty is off the bike and in his space within five seconds. Steve looks worried, but he lets her do her thing and stays towards the side, keeping a sharp eye on her and the Hulk to make sure Betty doesn’t accidentally get hurt. Bruce would be devastated if something happened to her.

Betty is talking to the Hulk, hands outstretched and Darcy can’t hear what she’s saying - Natasha is herding her back out of the area of immediate danger and Darcy’s fine with that, she’s done her job and she did promise Clint she’d stay safe - but it seems to be working. The Hulk has stopped smashing and is actually listening to her now. Darcy is pretty sure that he’ll be back to being Bruce within the next five minutes.

Ten minutes later they have all congregated around the S.H.I.E.L.D. vans, not too far from where the army is still standing around being useless, when Iron Man lands next to them.

“Where have you been?” Steve asks a little accusingly.

Tony flips his faceplate back and says, “Busy. Just watch.”

He gestures to where General Ross is standing and ranting to his underlings. Darcy wonders what Tony has been busy with.

It becomes clear a minute or so later, when a pasty looking guy in a suit approaches the tank and tries not to look terrified and says, "General, uhm, Ross? ...You've been served."

He thrusts an envelope at Ross and skedaddles as fast as his legs and his physical condition allow him to.

Darcy grins. “You managed to get a restraining order in less than half an hour? I’m impressed.”

Tony grins back. “Would have been faster if the judge hadn’t been on the toilet doing his number two.”

Steve shakes his head and says skeptically. "Do you really think he'll honor a simple restraining order?"

“I’m pretty sure this isn’t actually legal,” Natasha says.

"Nah, that's just to piss him off. By the time he finishes jumping up and down and spitting at it, the rest will be in place to _actually_ keep his sorry ass away,” Tony says and shrugs. “Plus I always just wanted to see if he could really turn that shade of purple. He looks like he'd have the coloring for it. He’ll be facing hell before his career is officially over at the end of the month. I’ll make sure of it.”

“Thanks,” Bruce mumbles from where he’s leaning against one of the vans, Betty’s arm around his hips.

Tony gives him a genuine smile. “My pleasure.”

Darcy decides this is the moment she needs to give them all a hug and does just that. Then she looks towards the TV crews and their cameras and gives them the thumbs up. She’s pretty sure Clint is sitting back at the Tower talking himself out of having a Heart Attack Of Jealousy And Worry and she vows to herself that she’ll make it up to him tonight. Thankfully he won’t need his feet very much for what she’s planning.


End file.
